I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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