I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
