I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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