evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
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we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
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You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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