just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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