he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
