You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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