yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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