dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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