And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
