Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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