Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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