We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
