i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
