Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
