We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
