At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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