i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
