It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
