Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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