Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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