ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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