Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
