This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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