if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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