before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
