We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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