Yo dont text me then not text me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
