i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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