FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
