you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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