But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
