three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
