I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
