I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
