She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
