i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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