Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize