Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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