I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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