Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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