i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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