I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
ugly people sure do ruin things
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
