Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
