My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize