the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
