my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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