Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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