i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
