Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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