The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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