is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
