Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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