She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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