I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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