Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
