I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
