someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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