I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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