theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
