somebody snuck up and got me drunk
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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