just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
