Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
