i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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