K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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