I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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