whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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