i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
