why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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