So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
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He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
do nipples grow back?
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