I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
