he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
