Me too!
barbara walters just said penis...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
