nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
