i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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