everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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