We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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