Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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